Nice post Mr Krupa...

Cheers

My wife sat me down and for once (in a long while) and I must admit she made some valid points to me. first off my son has Type 1 Diabetes, a decease few people understand, part of playing the drums for him may be a release of stress and tension of living with this and knowing he has his whole life to deal with it. 90% of the responsibility of what happened falls on my shoulders, by letting him have access to it in the first place. so I approached him the other day and apologized for re-acting the way I did. I could tell he really felt bad over what happened, and said he will not ever touch my drums ever again. I told him I would like to show him a few things about technique and drums them selves but he was adamant about not wanting to get near my drums ever again. so I asked what if I got him his own drum set? he said that would be ok, however he did not want me to run out and buy him one as a result of what happened.

I guess I suck at parenting .......the next time I talk to him about this. I will suggest he get involve in the process if I get him a set, so he gets a little education at the same time. Hell, when I pass on, he will have a ton of collectable drums, and it would be good if he knew something about them

Gary have you thought to get him into a physical exercise? cycling, motocross or running. all great releases for his type of Diabetes, there is a pro cycling team all the team members are biabetic? http://www.teamnovonordisk.com/

Clapping Happy2

Of course you do. And I suck at playing drums....sometimes, more often than I would like, but I keep playing and I keep trying to get better.

Apologizing to him for your reaction is a HUGE positive lesson for him and how I wish I had learned to make apologies earlier in life than I did.

You finally got the remorse reaction from him, even more than you thought you wanted. He's a good guy, he just screwed up. You're a good guy, and you screwed up in reaction to his screwing up. Good guys screw up (being a subset of "everyone") and we make amends when we can.

Are you going to offer him the opportunity for expiation (buying you a new head and sticks?)? Might be a good opportunity to browse for a kit for him.

Gary I'm glad you both are working things out. 2 of our children also have type 1 diabetes. So I understand that aspect. As parents we all try our best. I'm far from perfect, just ask my wife she'll tell ya!! She is also my voice of reason. I have been in many of the same situations with our children here. I'm sure many of us here have. You don't suck as a parent......quite the opposite. Just the fact you talked things out with him speaks volumes about you as both a parent and person. I'm sure he appreciates it. It's a new chapter for both of you. If anything you'll become closer. He's a lucky guy to have such a cool Dad. With your guidance and teaching he'll be a great drummer too! Just wait and see!!

who knows what a cymbal s value is here other then us and you too gary kept them well out of use as wall art for decades so you mite of hit it on the nail, hang em on the wall dont play them I'm sorry i talked you into trying them out and telling you what they were

I hope I'm not straying too far off topic here, but... we get prepared for just about everything in life as we grow up except for one really important area - parenting!

By the time we're out of high school we are able to; count our change at the store, make simple budgets to manage our money, etc. etc. But none of us ever get to go to one single class on how to be a good parent! You get married, kids come along and BANG... you're in the water, start swimming!

None of us (and I mean -none- of us,) have been perfect parents. It's a learn as you go situation. As long as you're doing your best, there is no sense in beating yourself up when you fall short of the mark. It's all part of growing as a person/individual. 'Learning' no matter what the subject is an ongoing process. You learn something new every day if you're paying attention.

Slingerland - Speaking as a parent of two, you did good with this situation. You learned something valuable and so did your son. I f'ked up so many times with my kids when they were growing up, I'm almost surprised they both turned out as good as they did. Because we love them so, we try to give them our best at all times. Sometimes we miss the mark. When we do, there is a life lesson in it for us. The good news is; if both of you got something from this, there shouldn't ever be a repeat performance. Next time, it'll just be something else!

One day at a time...

John

its taken me 3 trys as a husband and dad to get it right its still a learning curve after all these years , the bottom line is material things do not matter when it comes to family, Gary ill look in my pies i mite have that one if so its yours no charge...

Cannot agree more, you don't need material things to be a great dad/husband. and no body becomes good over night. you have to give some time as you gain experience you get better Yes Sir

Wow! [that's all I wanted to say but it ain't 10 "characters" :)]