Check CL in your area. Usually someone has a "barely used" setup for sale. Mesh heads quieter as mentioned. Rubber pads can work, I've had both. Some of the sets have softer pads than the hard rubber style. It will still make some noise, mostly plastic cymbal pads and bd. If she sleeps in the room below, you will transmit through the floor with pedals.I used a Simmons SD5 in a vacation condo for a year and enjoyed being able to practice without issues.Roland TD3, TD 6 or Simmons SD7or 5 can work in a pinch if budget is tight. Should be able to find something for $500 or so. Don't trade anything more than low price set. CL most bang for the buck over a dealer.
I agree with him..
Got myself a Roland TD11k kit...
However only one mesh head and 3 pads... Awhhhh.
Today I'm picking up 2 mesh heads to upgrade my kit..
I use an app called songza ....and hook my ipad to the kit and play all my fav songs..
Also link to utube to play all the new set lists were gonna play that nite and practice..
I picked this up for $550 ...
It came with the lookalike Hihat..2chokable Cyms...
It is a great kit that can be expanded for yrs to come...
Without spending the $1000+ range..
I agreed...CL ...not music store...(half price)..
All the best with this great idea...
*it really does take while to adjust to an ekit...
But it's great for easy outdoor gigs...light to carry and no time is needed to mic all the drums and do a complete sound check..!