First of all,my best wishes that this will all work out.We had to put my mom in a home 15 years ago.She had had 3 strokes and was suffering from Alzheimers on top of other health issues.She needed constant professional medical care which was something I couldn't provide at home.

I felt guility at the beginning,but was able to reconsile myself that this was the best thing for everyone involved,and at least gave her some quality of life.But it was still tough visiting her.Half the time she didn't know who I was.

Anyway...I again wish your family well,and just know that you did the right thing.Sometimes the needs of the few or the one,outweigh the needs of the many.(yes I shamelessly ripped that off from Startrek)

Steve B

Steve - (Not to derail the thread...) I just wanted to say that I lost my aunt to Alzheimers and now Bev's 87 year-old mom is suffering from it, so you have my empathy for your mom. I had to decide whether or not to sign a DNR order on my mom in 2001. Sometimes we have to make painful decisions about those who are closest to us in our lives. The good news is; those decisions are always based on Love and a deep bond that goes beyond words. We do our best for our loved-ones and that's all anyone can do.

Just wanted you to know you're not alone. We're all walking the same road.

John

Thanks for chiming in John.I recently lost a friend who I had known for 20 years and was the head of the Alzhiemers Association on Staten Island where I also work as a volunteer .She was also a nurse,and was volunteering her services(as she always did) at the local hospital during the Hurricane Sandy crisis here,dispite being 72 and in poor health.She suffered a massive heart attack giving emergency medical attention to those who needed it.

Her father suffered for years with Alzheimers,so she was a woman on a mission and raised the level of awareness here on the Island. Hopefully,a cure will soon be found for this crippeling disease.

My best wishes for you and your family during a difficult time..

Steve B

thank you Steve. i know all to well bout that nasty azz disease. my x mother n law passed just a litl over a year ago with it and i also worked for 7 yrs at our local nursing home as a housekeeper. I loved my job and the residents there but seen more sickness n death in that 7 long yrs then my life time. seen more then i ever cared to see. my heart goes out to you and your family.

6-8 months ago, my (step) dad was told he is in the beginning stage of dimentchea (spell?). that is his main reason for wanting to go to the vets home. he wants to already be "placed" before he goes wacky (his words). i had to turn my head and duck into the other room when he said that to me, i didn't want him to see me tear up. dimentchea is a lot like alzheimers but effects the patient faster. either one is very nasty and sad.

anyway, thank you for the best wishes and i am feeling alot better about the decissions we have made and am confident we made the right ones and that it will all work out very well. we will be ok. :)

John, i am sorry for your loss, and got you and your family in my thoughts. best wishes to you, Bev and her mom. DNR's are not a bad thing, especially when our loved one is suffering enough as it is.